


Push and Pull

by ohhliv



Category: Original Work
Genre: Eventual Romance, Gay, Gay Male Character, Historical, Kings & Queens, Korean Characters, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-04-06 22:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhliv/pseuds/ohhliv
Summary: A Eunuch catches the emperor's eyes, his small delicate features, more pleasing to him than the barren queen's, or all of the concubines within his palace. The emperor takes the Eunuch under his wing and has him by his side at all times. Promising each other to live their life with purpose.





	1. Chapter 1

Fat snowflakes fluttered in the air, their fluffy bodies dancing, one landing on the tip of Ro Taejin's slender nose. He scrunched it and blew it off, watching as it resumed its bird-like dance. He felt a longing sorrow after it, wishing he was the snowflake, free, and able to flutter away. His attention pulled away from the snow by the sudden, heavy, rhythmic pounding of the large drums posted at either side of the grand staircase leading towards the King's chamber. The group of cold and shifting eunuchs in sync went to their knees and bowed as the king took his seat. Taejin let out a shiver, not to warm his muscles, but out of fear. Five long, grievous years of training went into preparing all twelve boys as the King's servants. Today, however, was the day he would choose his top six personal attendants.

"Rise," he said, the King's baritone voice echoing across the stone acoustics of the rectangular yard.

Again in sync those in the King's presence rose from their deep bows and stood straight, looking ahead. From here Taejin could see the King's flowing deep blue robes, the silk catching the morning light through the gentle flurries of spring snow. On his chest, an emblem of a golden embroidered dragon moved with his every breath, which clouded out in the cold air. Daring a quick first glance at the King's face, Taejin saw the hard set jaw of a man, something he was not used to; living in a harem of eunuchs since his early boyhood. Traveling further, the puffs of air he saw before were coming from the King's nose; like a dragon trapped in a human's body. Matching his eyes, which only exuded strength and nobility as he looked upon each of the eunuch boys. His long, ebony hair pulled back and into a bun, accessorized by a golden cuff engraved with lotus flowers and swans.

Lost in complete awe of how elegant this man was, Taejin did not realize that the King's eyes had locked with his own. Embarrassment flooded over him as he looked down and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting to be called out for the treasonous behavior. But, it never came. The sound of the wooden throne creaking made Taejin bring up his head cautiously as the King descended the stairs. He stopped at its base, only ten yards from the group of lined up eunuchs.

"I am your king," he paused as he looked back and forth to the group again, "Sa Chi-Hwan, firstborn of Sa Do-Hyeon. I am pleased to see you all here before me today and I hope that those who are chosen will serve I and my country well."

The eunuchs bowed in thanks, Taejin shaking as he did. Breathing in quietly he attempted to calm his nerves. 'You only need to get through this one ceremony and not get picked, then you never have to be confronted with this again.' Biting his lip he mustered up the courage to look straight ahead as before. The King walked among the three lines of eunuchs, four in each row. Touching and tilting faces as he decided who he did and did not like. It felt as though hours had passed when they were only minutes, and in those minutes the King had chosen four of the boys. All of them not too pleasing to the eye, but had eyes blazing with confidence.

Taejin's heart matched the quick flutter of the snowflakes still falling as Chi-Hwan's steps sounded closer. His eyes slid to his left as he saw the King inspecting a boy two down from himself. Like a hummingbird's, his heart rate skyrocketed, until suddenly it stopped.

A golden dragon stared back, as Chi-Hwan towered over him. The King's fingers wrapped around Taejin's hand, inspecting the delicate ivory appendage. Taejin's eyes widened at the sudden warmth that flowed through it and forced himself to stare ahead as Chi-Hwan's large hand overlapped his own.

"What do you play?", he asked with genuine curiosity.

Anxiety pooled into Taejin's stomach, "A-Any stringed instrument, Your Majesty" he stuttered out.

A satisfied grunt from Chi-Hwan broke his panic. His hand was dropped back to his side, the cold attacking it as Taejin suppressed another shiver.

"Look at me."

'What?' Taejin thought.

"Look at me," the King repeated as he hooked an index finger and thumb under Taejin's chin and tilted it toward his face. Taejin instinctively turned his eyes away from the King's but remembered Chi-Hwan's order. Meeting his eyes, there was a softness in them, the dark mahogany brown irises bored into his own. Any tension in Taejin's body had left its possession of him. A look of surprise passed over the King's features for a second before returning to its passive state.

"Him as well," he dropped his hand from Taejin's chin, still staring at him as he spoke to one of the elder councilmen, "what is your name?"

Taejin looked away as a pink flush flooded his cheeks, "My name is Ro Tae-Jin, Your Majesty.", The councilman scrawled his name down quickly.

Chi-Hwan nodded, turned, and walked towards his embellished throne on top of the marble staircase. In front of his throne, he stood toward the group one last time, "Those of you chosen, will pledge your lives to me, serve me, and die for me as I see fit. Those of you I did not, you will serve this palace, as I and the council see fit, you are dismissed."

Taejin stayed in his place, eyes widened in awe at what had happened. Him, the King's personal servant? Shaking his head he was pushed along by the other eunuchs eager to get back inside.

Later that night Taejin and the five other boys were separated from the others into the King's section of the palace, they each got their own rooms, however, some nicer than others. Taejin's room was simple but elegantly decorated with watercolor paintings of swans and storks stalking among water lilies, alongside elaborate colorful trims and embroideries crawling the paper walls. Books, scrolls, and inkwells lined a small desk on his right that had a small red, plush pillow for him to sit on. His bed had been prepared by the lower servants, the plush navy blue blanket an open invitation. To the left of the bed was a large circular window, now closed off by two wooden doors and curtain to keep the cold out. He opened the curtain and unhooked the latch on the wooden doors.

Before him a sparkling pond rippled in the moonlight as occasionally an oranged scaled fish would peak its head out of the water and immediately dive back in. Taejin breathed in the cool night air, relishing the crispness of it in his lungs. Until a flash of blue caught his attention across the expanse of the manmade pond.

There, the golden-crowned king walked out of the soaring pagoda across from Taejin's room. Using one mysteriously ink-stained hand to push back a stray hair, Chi-Hwan's eyes were tired and ringed with red as he yawned. Noticing he was being watched he looked in Taejin's direction. Heart rising into his throat, Taejin ducked away from the window. Waiting a few minutes before peeking his head back up, he saw the King had left. Taejin sighed in relief, relatched the wooden doors and drew the curtains back in place.

Lying down on the plush bed made up for him, Taejin closed his eyes, savoring the silence before three soft knocks interrupted. 


	2. Chapter 2

Taejin shuffled over to the sliding door, where a shadowed outline stood, waiting. Slowly, he slid the door open, bowing his head slightly to his visitor. Looking up, one of the king's guards stood a few heads taller than himself. The guard had to look down at Taejin, the red tassel of his uniform hat flapping forward, feathering in the slight breeze of the corridor. The guard bowed politely and pulled a tanned scroll of parchment paper from his black cotton uniform and handed it to Taejin. Taejin looked up at the guardsman in confusion, his dark brows furrowing at the hard-faced man. The guard simply bowed once more, turned on his heel, and left.

Cautiously closing his door, Taejin made his way to his desk and sat down on the plush red pillow. Turning the scroll over in his hand Taejin found the slightly malleable, warm wax of a seal. Rotating the parchment in his hand so that the insignia faced him, Taejin's eyes widened. A dragon's head roaring toward the heavens wrapped around a lotus flower in bloom shown back at him in ornate glory. 'The King's Seal'.

Hands shaking he lit a candle on his desk and began to slowly peel back the fresh stamp. With a slight  _snap,_ the scroll gave way and unfurled itself onto Taejin's desk. The royal emblem was stamped in red ink on the left corner, as an organized scrawl of characters sentenced the King's decree.

"Three hours before the sun rises be sure my house is in order. By my ruling Ro-Tae Jin will be named Ro-Tae Jin Imperial Royal Attendant to his king; King Sa Chi-Hwan, firstborn of Sa Do-Hyeon. Below are listed your daily tasks. You are allotted 50 servants to assist you"

Taejin's heart quickened as he read over the seemingly never-ending list of grueling chores. 'All of this in three hours?' Taejin flopped back into his bed, scroll held above him as he memorized the list of chores. Arranging and Rearranging the most effective way to use fifty servants to prepare the king's quarters in three hours. Soon the small ebony-headed boy fell asleep, the scroll tucked against his chest, murmuring orders in his sleep.

...

"You three go over there and wash the steps, make sure that you sweep the dead leaves off before you do so. And You go make sure the dishes are cleaned for His Majesty's breakfast. I swear Jinsan if I have to tell to get to work one more time-"

Taejin sat back massaging his temples, as the castle became bustling with servants trying to prepare the quarters as silently as possible. Which, to their credit, was not silent at all.

Looking down according to the cheat sheet he had scribbled down moments before leaving his room, the last thing that needed to be prepared was the daily wardrobe. However, all of his servants were occupied with their assigned jobs. Taejin sighed and looked at one of the older servant men who was trimming an evergreen, "Can I trust you that this," He whirled his hand around at the activity, "gets done."

The small older man nodded and returned to his landscaping. Taejin ran off toward the inner area of the royal quarters, his new black silk and cotton hanbok flapping behind him as he held down his bokgeon from flying off. His feet hitting the dark wooden flooring he ran into the king's personal wardrobe and bowed to the seamstress as she sat at her table. Her graying head turned to him, A few strands of hair falling out of her low bun as she leaned to squint her eyes at Taejin.

"I humbly request the King's wear for today."

She grunted and stood from her sewing, knees popping and clicking into place, she bent slightly at the waist from years of bending over her embroideries and extravagant designs. She shuffled over to the open closet lined with shimmering silks and pulled out a light blue cotton-silk mix hanbok with lotus flowers and cranes that seemed to play along the folds of the fabric. Holding the garment in her large-knuckled hands, she handed the outfit to him and placed a pair of black shoes on top. Reaching up she patted Taejin on the head and smiled.

"I like you a lot better than the other one."

"Other one?" Taejin's eyebrows raised in question but was stopped by the lady deftly ushering him out the door and slamming the panels shut. Shaking his head he walked off the comment and made his way down the arching halls to the king's personal chamber.

Two guards stood on vigil in front, Taejin opened his mouth to state his business but was stopped by them bowing and silently opening the doors. One of the guards, which Taejin recognized as the steely-faced man from last night, raised a finger to his lips, amusement flickering in his eyes as he passed into the personal chambers of the king.

Taejin carefully hung the hanbok on the wooden display in front of the changing divider and walked silently to the king's bed. The bed, made up of four posts and a permanent mattress piled with plush blankets and covers, had a canopy of fine silk netting surrounding the four posts. Pushing back the canopy curtains, Taejin peered in through the dim lighting of the room, to see the rising and falling of the king's half-naked form lying on his side. Something within Taejin went still. He paused and made his way to the side of the bed the king was sleeping on. One of the large circular windows that Taejin had in his room, matched the kings. Deciding a gentle wake up was best, Taejin unlatched the heavy wooden window doors. Pushing them back a light breeze wafted into the room, as a peak of light on the horizon hinted the dawn of a new day. Taejin lost, in his own daydreams of spring dawns sighed and hummed to himself a song his mother had taught him long before she passed. The breeze danced to the melody and lifted a lone petal from a blooming tree into the air, drifting it towards Taejin. Reaching out with pale slim fingers the rosy petal landed on the tip of it. He smiled to himself and brought the petal to his lips before letting it free.

The deep timbre of a soft laughter wrenched Taejin from his daydreaming and back into reality. Shaking, he turned towards the king and bowed. Chi-Hwan lay in his bed, his long black hair in a mess around him, as his bare chest was covered in goosebumps from the morning air. Letting out a lazy smile he ran a hand through his hair and cocked his head to Taejin.

"Little Bird, What might you be doing?"


	3. Chapter 3

Taejin deepened his bow, "I am so sorry you're majesty."

Staying in that position Taejin flinched as Chi-Hwan began to get up from his bed. A large, warm hand laid itself on top of Chi-Hwan's head, "You are forgiven, now, where are my clothes?"

Taejin shuffled his way in front of Chi-Hwan leading him to the displayed hanbok. A rumble of approval left the King's throat. "The Seamstress seems to always have a good eye for what I like." One of his eyes traveled over to Taejin's still bowed form.

"S-should I ask the servants to draw a bath?" Taejin stammered out.

Chi-Hwan made his way closer to Taejin and lifted his face to look at his own. Taejin shivered at the warmth of his touch, "While you're in my presence, in private, you do not have to bow to me, Ro Tae-Jin." The King smiled.

Taejin blushed furiously as he looked up at the king's messy-morning form. There was something in Taejin that tugged at his heart as he looked into Chi-Hwan's eyes, yet he could not identify what. Instead of reacting to that strange emotion, Taejin shoved it down and simply nodded. Chi-Hwan lets go of his chin and grabbed the hanbok from the rack as he made his way behind the partition.

"Are you sure you don't want the servants to assist with that?"

"Taejin." The King's voice took on a commanding tone, "do you dress yourself in the morning?"

Taejin's face flamed again, "W-well, yes."

"So do I. From now on," he paused while choosing his next words, "I want you to be my only personal servant."

"Y-your servant?"

The sound of clothes shifting and ruffling stopped. A silence filled the air that was thick, but not oppressive.

"Yes."

Chi-Hwan walked around the partition, the sight almost comedic, as from the torso he looked like a true king, but an unkempt man from the top. 'A mirror between his true-self, and what he has to be' Taejin thought to himself. 'Or maybe he is both?'

"Taejin I want you  to do my hair as well."

"What?" he questioned informally as he was brought out of his thoughts abruptly. Taejin's eyes went wide as a long-robed sleeve covered his mouth.

Even the King himself had a face of surprise as someone, outside of his family, talked to him informally. He began to laugh. 'What a feeling this is.'

"You're already beginning to become comfortable with me, good." He pressed a decorated ivory comb into Taejin's palm alongside a vial of oil. He made his way to a chair in front of the window and held his golden hair cuff in his lap.

Taejin cautiously followed Chi-Hwan and stood behind him. Slowly from the ends of his hair, Taejin used small amounts of the oil while combing Chi-Hwan's long hair as it occasionally feathered around his shoulders from the morning wind. Finding himself lost in the rhythm of his work, Taejin began to sing under his breath.

"Taejin"

He froze, the King's voice sounded strained, "Louder."

Taejin complied and sang louder, at the moment feeling freed from whatever bonds of slavery his life was attached to. To this world, to this palace, to this king. Why was he even here? Why not run away now? He looked down at the king. Why not just kill him and run away? Taejin pulled the king's hair up and brushed it into the bun he always wore. He stopped singing and looked down at the king's lap for the clasp. His hands white-knuckled around it, face lax and lost in thought suddenly brightened at the noticed attention.

"Why did you stop?"

Something within Taejin clicked. 'This man is just as shackled as I am.' The king's voice sounded so small and delicate, like a child's.

Suddenly the heavy wooden doors to the King's chambers slammed open and a woman not much older than himself with pale, moon-like skin, seemed to drift toward the two at the window. Her face elegant and impassive as the red paint upon her plump lips made the mixture of browns in her eyes brighten. She was more than beautiful. Ethereal, as her red hanbok swayed around her feet.

The King stood up as she greeted Chi-Hwan. Taejin bowed deeply to her assuming she was the queen and stayed in that position, staring at the black marble floor which captured their shrunken reflections.

"Eun-Bi, you have not scheduled council with me. Why are you here?"

The queen smiled sweetly as she hugged Chi-Hwan, "My darling, I have not seen you for almost two weeks. I felt lonely as if you did not love me anymore." She pouted, "Though I could not blame you, I have not been able to bear you a son, or any child. Why would you love me?"

Taejin felt an immediate distaste for the woman as she fished for reassurance.

"Eun-Bi, as my wife I will tell you this. Though you cannot bear a son, I will not strip you of your title." She smiled.

"Oh, I knew you still-"

"Yet."

Chi-Hwan walked away from her and toward his large ornate desk by another window. Taejin remained where he was silent.

"I can still lie with one of the concubines, one of them may bear my heir. Unlike you." Taejin recognized the political and physical pros to having a harem of concubines within the palace. However, Chi-Hwan's voice was laced with apathy toward the spoken thought.

Eun-Bi threw herself at Chi-Hwan her arms wrapping desperately around his neck and shoulders. Taking one of her wrists his once warm and content face contorted into one of anger. He sneered at her as he flung her off of him, the force of it causing her to fall back away from him. She scrambled up and bowed one last time tears in her eyes as she stomped her way out the door. Meeting Taejin's eyes as he raised his head slightly at the sudden explosion of emotions. Her eyes narrowed, and then they were gone. The door slamming shut behind her. Taejin jumping at the sound.

Taejin made to straighten himself up but found himself engulfed in sky-blue fabric and arms. Chi-Hwan held Taejin close to him. His breathing coming out in heavy frustrated puffs. Taejin found himself scared and surprised at first but leaned into the smell of lavender oil and cedar. 'This is nice.' Another tug at his heart caused Taejin's throat to tighten. 'Why?'

"Taejin?" Chi-Hwan's deep voice rumbled in his chest. Taejin rotated his head so that it faced Chi-Hwan's

"Why are humans alive?"

"The gods made us to complete tasks."

"But why give us emotions to hate, to envy, to lust, to love. Why make us feel these things?"

"Because we sin and that's part of our punishment."

Chi-Hwan's breathing faltered for a moment, "Maybe you're right." he held Taejin closer to him, "the gods are mean."

Taejin closed his eyes.

"They are."


	4. Chapter 4

A Month passed. The light chill of spring had become the heavier swirl of summer. Days became longer, the yellow lamplight of sun clawing for dominance against the inky blue skies when night approached. Mixing with the scratchy melodies of cicadas and the ancestral dancing of fireflies and dragonflies and butterflies. Taejin tapped the long wooden brush against his chin, lost in the world he could not grasp with his own human hands. Biting at the wood, the cedar’s tangy aroma filling his mouth he looked away from nature’s ballet and down at his work. Like teardrops, small black pools of ink claimed their eternity on the paper. He sighed. Leaned back from his chair and let his head fall to rest on his tensed shoulders.

“Yoon-Hwa,” he called out to his personal servant.

Like a cloth sundried in the wind, the slight girl shuffled into the room. Her head bowed in respect to Taejin. She looked up, her large eyes set into her head like a newborn doe, as her wonderful delicate face tilted down, her pink lips held the softness of a master artist.

“Get me a stack of parchment please,” his voice strained slightly as gravity constrained his throat.

The shifting of feet closer to him surprised Taejin slightly. He looked up to the caring face of Yoon-Hwa, a slight blush held her sugar cane cheeks in red melanic ransom. She lifted a slim hand and rested on his forehead.

A moment passed.

Then Two.

She turns her hand so that the back faced his head and placed it.

A slight  _‘mmm’_ traces out of her throat. The sound petite and light. She nods, satisfied with her investigation, but keeps her hand on his head. Moving it back over his head. Letting her fingers become entangled with the soft tendrils of his hair. Taejin shivered at the movement. Feeling his toes curl slightly at the unfamiliar sensation. She was close to his face now, eyes heavy and lidded with rushed emotions. Her lips above his own, he frowned. What was she doing? She stops, and visibly stiffens as realization comes over her. She bows suddenly and a garbled distorted noise comes from her throat in what sounds like an apology. She winces in pain at the phantom movement of what was, but is not there. Like a torrent of banded unrequited emotions, she hurries off; out the door. Leaving the dazed confused mess of a boy, brushing a hand over his head.

Later that evening he sat across from Chi-Hwan as he sipped his wine and ate small buns off a raised table.

“There have been two bandit raids on the town by the Chando border, the reports from the soldiers say that three women were raped, and two children were kidnapped.”

Taejin looked up.

He continued on his wine.

Taejin sighed and continued on with the weekly report.

“The kingdom experienced a bountiful early spring harvest and the spring equinox festival has made tenfold the fortunes it did the year before from both citizens and other countries.”

Chi-Hwan sniffed and looked down at his cup.

“However, those citizens traveling back to their homelands did experience some troubles with the Koundai Tribes from-”

He yawns.

Taejin rounded his lips over his teeth and took a long breath in. He stands up abruptly from his cushion before throwing the almost blackened-with-words, scroll on to the floor, the pinewood ends clattering against the black speckled granite. Chi-Hwan’s dark pupils lifted up to the small boy.

“Do you even listen to a word I’m saying?” His voice pleading, low, and shaking with restrained passion. An arrow nocked and ready.

“Of course, I have to.”

“Then what have I said in the past half hour?” Taejin stopped his formal speech, challenging him, the bow drawn.

Chi-Hwan set the goblet down and sat straighter in his seat, “Are you talking down t-”

“Answer my damn question!” Taejin’s voice rose an octave, his voice high from unachieved manhood, but still prominent in the high ceiling hall.

Chi-Hwan sat back, “Something about the Chando border having a nice festival and sold a lot of stuff for spring.”

The Arrow flew, a straight shot through the heart of Taejin as all stress and frustrations from the week, no, months ripped from his soul and into his throat. Without the worry of treason, doubt, and class he stormed up the steps like the fury of all hell and ripped the king from his cushioned seat.

“You are  _no_  king,” he spat.

“You know  _nothing_ of your people.  _Nothing_  of what they do.  _Who_  they are.  _What_ they are going through.” Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, sparkling in frustrated grief. “ There are women and children being  _raped_  and taken away from their families by the Koundai Tribes. And Why? Because of you.”

Taejin pushed him away, knocking him back into his throne, “Because of you, we have more servants than necessary, with their tongues ripped from them.  _Ripped_  from them. Humans just like You and I, with families, and peaceful, free lives they were meant to live. But, you.  _You_  had to take it all away from them.” Taejin gesticulated furiously throughout his speech. Tears streaming down his face. His voice fading down into emphasized whispers and cracked notes

“I know what it’s like to be taken away, to be stripped of something I was  _born_  with. For the pleasures of someone who I never even saw the face of till now. To serve someone until they got bored of me. To be a piece of  _cattle_ all because I never had money. All because I was not born _correctly_. Into the  _correct_  society. Into the  _correct_ family. And to the  _correct_  mother.”

Taejin breathed heavily, as even his soul dispersed the last of its energy in those pointed words. His whole body shook with not fury but exhaustion. As he looked down at Chi-Hwan with displeased hooded eyes. And those perfect, graceful but hard features discerned his own.

Chi-Hwan grasps the collar of Taejin’s hanbok and pulls him down to his own level. The side of his face brushing his own as Chi-Hwan's lips tickled against Taejin’s ear.

“People are where they are now because that is where they are meant to be.”

The arrow hits a tree. 


	5. Chapter 5

Like a fly swatted by Earth’s playful, insouciant winds. Taejin felt weightless by the words of the man who tugged him lower. They stayed like this. Silent. Unmoving. One waiting for the other to snap or bite; like two dogs. Chi-Hwan resigned and lowered his head slightly, a stream of warm breath tainted by sweet alcohol escaped him as he released his knuckled grip on the plain silks. Taejin turned his face away from him, the large muscle in his jaw twitching and sliding underneath his taupe skin as he wore away the crowns of his teeth in undoubtable aggravation. 

 

“Look at me,” Chi-Hwan demanded. 

 

Taejin made no move but swallowed in an attempt to relieve the contorted ball of held back tears in his throat. 

 

“I said look at me!” His voice rose, a hint of shared guilt and frustration.

 

Taejin slid one, stoney eye toward Chi-Hwan. He stood from his throne, the polished wood cracking at the allayed weight. His large, surprisingly calloused hands wrapped around his own. They held him there, gentle, but stern and unmoving. 

“I’m sorry for ignoring you,” he paused his eyes staring at the floor as he chewed at his bottom lip.  “I’m sorry for not being the king I am supposed to be, I’m sorry that you were taken from your mother, I’m sorry for not paying attention to what this palace does and does not need, I’m sorry for the things I have said,” Chi-Hwan lifted his face to Taejin’s, eyes flicking back and forth desperately searching for some sense of sought forgiveness. 

 

“Taejin I’m sorry for this. I’m sorry for blocking you off completely from my mind these few weeks. But I-I cannot help it.”

 

“Help what?” 

 

“I feel drawn to you in a way I am not drawn to my own wife. Be it a political marriage or not. I have never been attracted to her or the women who damnedly throw themselves at my feet. You see, the moment I saw your face, something was different.” 

 

Taejin backed away as his brows furrowed in confusion, “I-”

 

“Over these past few months as my personal servant just learning your tells of annoyance, hunger, and tiredness, has been a joy of mine; a-and I don't know why.” Chi-Hwan pauses and tongues the opening of his mouth excitedly, “Even the rarity of your smile feels like the first time I flew a kite. Elated. Just at the sight of colors and beauty flying so high that even though I could not touch it...it still gave me joy.”

 

Chi-Hwan stops again and furrows his brow in rapturously malicious introspection.

 

“Taejin, is this what love is?”

 

Taejin froze at the alien word, frowning slightly before shaking his head, “I wouldn’t know.” 

 

Chi-hwan nodded and looked down at their connected palms. He opens his fingers, controlling both his and Taejin's hands as the webbing between their digits stretched white. Taejin’s, stained with ebony blotches of ink, similar to a lily pond. While the knicks, scars, and calluses around his fingers told the flowering stories of musicianship, mastery, and brokenness. Chi-hwan’s eyes flicked back to his own, growing beyond Taejin’s, thicker too, like an elder tree next to a small sapling in its third cycle. His were soft, however, the scars from training and fights as a kid still wrote small white-tissue matter stories atop his tanned skin.

 

He moved his fingers into Taejin’s spaces and interlocked their hands. He held them there for a moment before relaxing. Taejin was dazed about each movement. Chi-Hwan moved closer to him. Their faces a hands-breadth apart. As both stood savoring the presence emanating off one another. Chi-Hwan released their hands as one slid its way into the thick black forest of Taejin's hair. The warm scented wave of sandalwood and star anise wrapped itself around him; Taejin did not protest. Even if he wanted to, his body stood in the utter euphoria of the moment. 

 

Taejin tipped his head back, looking into the stars that claimed their place in the eyes of Chi-hwan. As his eyelids hooded softly over them like clouds against a moon on a late summer’s eve. Both stared at each other, further enraptured in a still dance of questioning consent. Both had their answers. Chi-hwan pressed his lips against Taejin’s. Hesitantly, but at the same time controlling the true passion broiling within him. Taejin accepted the foreign sensation, his nerves falling away like dying vines that constricted him before. Now all that held him was a torrent of intense ardor. His calves raised slightly as he returned the passion. Blinded by all things around him, only the warm scent of Chi-Hwan mixed with the summer breeze infiltrating the throne halls, and the singing of cicadas masked the extrinsic tinkling of bells.

 

……

 

In the queen’s quarters, secluded from the main infrastructure of the palace. Lies a small one-story house, that held all the amenities deemed necessary for Eun-Bi by Chi-Hwan. Yoon-Hwa padded her way quickly through the gardens. The anklet that recognized her as a servant to the royal family clinked against her as the small golden bells rocked back and forth wildly from her movements. Her bare feet hitting the front wooden entrance as she fell to her knees,  _ thump _ , in front of the guards to the queen’s personal chambers. Her breathing heavy and shaky as she bowed and exposed the tattoo of her enslavement. They stepped aside. The heavy leather and steel boots clunking away from her vision. She stood and hurried inside, but not before catching the all too familiar pity from the guards. 

 

Inside decorations of flowers and paintings of animals grazing decorated the carved wooden walls. It certainly was not the most extravagant thing, almost plebeian compared to even the King’s horse stalls. 

 

Yoon-Hwa made her way into the Queen’s room, where she sat in a red night robe detangling her hair with an ivory comb. Her eyes met Yoon-Hwa’s figure in the doorway. She smiled, though it did not reach her eyes, and patted the place next to her chair. Yoon-Hwa sat on the plush carpet and pulled out a small square of folded parchment and a piece of charcoal wrapped in torn cloth. She wrote down three simple words and slid the paper over to the Queen. She put down the comb, and stared at the paper in front of her, eyes widening for a moment before her face relaxed. 

 

“And, you’re sure of it?” 

 

She nodded.

 

“Are you absolutely sure, that is what you saw?” 

 

She nodded again and placed the paper back into her pocket.

 

“Well.” 

 

The Queen stood and picked up an object that had lain on her dresser, she paused for a moment before turning to Yoon-Hwa again. She kneeled in front of her and took her face into one of her porcelain hands, the tips of her fingernails lightly scratching against her soft skin. 

 

“Yoon-Hwa,” she spoke her name with the tenderness of a mother, “I need you to do something for me.” 

 

She nodded. 

 

“The next time you serve that child breakfast-,” she felt a cold glass vial slip into her grasp. She looked down and a clear liquid bubbled back and forth within the container. Her gaze was jerked back up as the queen gripped her face, her nails now digging into her cheek painfully as she held her face. Hate dripped from her voice like venom.

 

“Use. It.”

  
  


Eun-Bi threw her to the side like a disgraced doll and walked back to her chair, casually combing her hair as if nothing had happened.

 

“And if you don’t-”, She paused and looked down at the shaking girl on the floor.

 

“Your tongue won’t be the only thing I’ll have ripped out.”


	6. Chapter 6

Light baked dust, and hard mahogany stained floors, mixed with the soft effervescence of sandalwood woke Taejin. His dark brows furrowing across his soft pale skin, his vision doubled and dilated to the waking mid-morning light as it intruded his quarters. The sheer white silk that surrounded his bed waved silently like ghosts. Ghosts who knew his secrets-- the dead have no voice, however. The creaking of his bed, mimicking small laughter, as the silk screens shuddered in his waking-- or their amusement. He still wore his hanbok from last night. The spring ensemble in slight disarray. He touched his lips, although chapped slightly from sleep, still held a slight soreness that captured his cheeks in red embarrassment. His body felt like an innocent coal tossed carelessly into a fire as he shot up from his bed, stripping himself down to his bare chest, covered only by the thick, cotton, white long pants. He breathed out, not a sigh of relief, but one that would match the same feeling that buds who finally break out their hardy winter shell, into blossoms would. He walked into the main area of his quarters, catching himself in the long aluminum mirror that stared back at him. His frail, boyish body from months ago had retained most of its adolescence, even into his age of maturity, yet gained the lean muscles that matched that of a spring doe. Long, even, yet strong and bold. Quick to run and hide, but coy and smart in its rare niche.

The sound of his main door creaking open broken him from his self-inspection. He turned to see Yoon-Hwa shuffle in with his breakfast, she knelt down in respect with the tray and straightened herself, the lightly decorated porcelain clattering like pebbles in a creek against the wood. Taejin smiled slightly, a boyish toothy grin breaking from his usual seriousness.

"Good morning, Yoon Hwa."

She stumbled slightly at her name and shakingly bowed her head in recognition. A light blush brushed her neck pink as she saw his half-naked state.

"Ah, yes sorry about my current dress. It is quite...warm this morning." A blatant lie it was entirely cool, especially with the wind kidnapping water-chilled currents along its oblivious path.

Setting down the tray to his usual eating table she began to set out the plain breakfast he had always enjoyed. She stepped back when she finished pouring his tea, staring hard at the ground; shaking slightly.

'The pain in her mouth must be back.'

Taejin stared at her quite worried but continued situating himself to eat. He knew she did not like him to treat her more than himself. He picked up his chopsticks and dug into his rice, adding bits of boiled pork and kimchi alongside it occasionally. Picking up his teacup, Taejin sensed the room shudder. Not audibly, but an uncomfortable foreboding presence of anxiousness. He placed the cup to his lips, feeling the warm steam open his stiffened sinuses.

The heavy wood doors slammed open. Taejin stood, knocking his tea over on accident, Yoon-Hwa falling immediately to clean up the mess at his feet. Two soldiers ran in, panting like a pair of oxen after being herded from the mountains. Both thumped their right hand over their left breast and gave a slight bow.

"My Lord-," The first one began through restricted breathlessness. "Our Majesty the King requests your presence in the main courtyard immediately."

The other guard locked eyes with Taejin, "He requests you in your finest wear at his right side."

Taejin's muscles locked-- even the whispered scratches of removed scrubbing from the floor stopped and quickly resumed as to not be suspicious of intent listening-- for him to be right hand, means to publicly replace the queen's position of importance.

"You-- You are positive of this request?"

Both of them nodded, their colorful red and yellow feather decors on their hats fluttered-- like the animal that once used them-- in urgency, "He expects you in no later than five minutes."

Panic began to set in, "You are dismissed." He called off as he turned toward his wardrobe and began to quickly dress in his court finery. The deep red silks and trimmed yellow, signified his rank in the royal court as the quick, skillful braiding of his hair and accessories told of his high eunuch position to the king. He caught himself in the mirror once more before leaving. The hanbok was a masterpiece on his own. But the beauty it imbued into Taejin was nothing that he had ever felt before. Straightening his spine and placing one foot slightly in front of the other he took the natural courtly pose. Like a peacock opening its wings for the first time he felt, strong, confident, and for the first time in his life, that he belonged.

Taejin made it into the courtyard, standing at the top of the steps he took his position on the ornately carved throne to the right of Chi-Hwan. A light mummer erupted amongst the crowd of servants, courtesans, and nobles. Their eyes scanned him like mosquitos to red, bleeding meat. Hungry for the gossip and rumors that lie behind him supplanting the queen's throne. A wave's crash of gasps broke over the gathering as Eun-Bi, in all her crown jewels and dresses made her way to the left hand of her husband. Her porcelain painted face held no sign of anger or jealousy, but a simple small smile. She was used to the dramas of court. This was, however, a blow to her status and obvious importance to the King.

Chi-Hwan turned to Taejin and smiled at him before standing to announce the crowd. They bowed, a sea of drab cloth to fine, dyed silks danced before him in a single synchronized swoop.

"Rise." He announced over them.

The tide pulled back.

"On this day, through long nights of decision making, I have decided to grant freedom to all captured Koundai servants. Although your voices have been permanently ripped from you through indirect association to the true terrorists, I grant you freedom and safe passage back to your home or to assist you in creating a village outside of the city to settle safely in and to create a new life for yourselves. For the pain I have caused you, I deeply apologize."

He paused. Taejin sat forward in his seat.

"To my people who I have neglected, please, be patient for I have plans to rebuild stronger and more innovative than ever. I am sorry for not hearing your pleas earlier. To the plundered villages outside of the main gates, I apologize, the protection you have expected of me was not given. Prepare for supplies and more crowns guard to come to your aid."

He paused, not even the echoing open chambers of the yard picked up a sound. The birds and wind stilled. The Earth, Stilled. It was silent. Yet he continued and as did the swelling of Taejin's unexpectant heart.

"And on this day, I want to celebrate this renewal with a feast, and the announcement of Taejin." He motioned a practiced hand toward him. Taejin froze, his body, and soul running at a hummingbird's casually frantic pace as he stood, making his way to Chi-Hwan's side. He straightened himself.

'This is my place, This is my place, This is where I belong.'

He looked up to Chi-Hwan with pride and then back to the crowd as they still stood in the shock of the King's words.

"Ro Tae-Jin," He turned to him," I now announce and publicly recognize you as Official Imperial Advisor and Gukgong over this province. Eun-Bi will keep her title of Queen but will be demoted of her control over this city and stripped of all military status. This status will now be transferred to Imperial Advisor Ro Tae-Jin, and all who speak against this enactment will be punished by the account of treason."

Chi-Hwan looks directly into Taejin's eyes, his voice softening only slightly, "May this decree be heard by the gathering here today, and read by those outside of this court."

Like a slow rush of wind and greying tan paper, the scribes ran their copies back into town to be transcribed into a royal decree and printed multiple times for kingdom distribution. Yet the court stayed frozen in a shocked hibernation. Chi-Hwan took Taejin's shoulder and led him away from the courtyard, as the chaos of gradual realization ensued on the crowd below the marble staircase. Eun-Bi caught Taejin's gaze, matching only the hottest fires of whatever hell she wished him to burn for eternity in, the fingertip claw rings that decorated her hands, dug pointed notches into her downgraded throne. And dug, and dug, as he was ushered away.

Inside the main halls of the palace lay a grand banquet hall. As servants, now not of the Koundai clans, bustled around to feed and give drink to each and every greedy courtesan and noble that leeched off the wealth in the Imperial graces. An ascending staircase that laid a wide ornate carpet up to a long carved pine table, covered in endless wealth and luxury guarded the top. In the middle sat one tall chair, dragons in an intimate and heated dance crawled and battled their way to the top-- the ivory and jade accenting their bright furious eyes in wonder. Next to that beast of craftsmanship sat another ornate chair. However, this one delicate and quite beautiful as it was not wholly feminine but exuded an artistic outpour of nature's ephemeral allure-- accented with gold leaf and light jade softened through careful sanding and polishing. The other tables and chairs laid either side of the long carpet leading to the Imperial Table and had no significant decorations other than the Hwan family crest and rich pine wood-- all stained a deep ruddy red.

Music flowed in yawning orange and blues followed by the quick runnings of yellow as people danced and laughed. Their jovial red cheeks lifted up to the vaulted ceilings in rich, separated praise. Alcohol had flooded their systems and food had made them weak, yet Chi-Hwan made it so that more came. All of this, new to Taejin's eyes as he sat in the nature blessed throne. The despondent queen sat off to the side of her husband, picking slowly at her food as she sneered down at the drunken merriment below her. She picked her teeth and slid a serpent's eye glare to Taejin. However, he was pulled away from her malicious stare as Yoon-Hwa refilled his glass with not wine as the others but crisp, blessed water. His eyebrows furrowed up in thanks and she gave a small smile.

"Why are you not leaving with the others?" He raised his voice over the shouts of laughter.

She simply smiled and shook her head, looked down at the drink and nodded. Noted, she was a lot calmer than she was this morning.

The rough vibrations of a chair on the Imperial seatings platform shook as Eun-Bi left her seat and disappeared down a vestibule to the side of the banquet hall. Yoon-Hwa's sweet blossom smile left her as she too absconded from his side and followed like a hurt animal. Taejin turned to Chi-Hwan, only to find him already happily drunk, dancing away with friends he had known since his royal trainings when he was younger. Taejin got up, sober, and in perturbed curiosity as to why the both of them left at the same time.

Making his way into the back corridors of the main halls. Taejin was met with ceilings that rose and rose, being held up by red painted columns the size and height of ancient trees. He was met with the shrill crow's call of Eun-Bi's voice. Sneaking closer Taejin could not make out her exact words but saw the shadows of a cowering female bent below the queen's form. Their blackened doppelgangers stretching, flickering, glowing with the flame of large basin lined along the walls. Eun-Bi, with her fingertip claws, looking only more and more demonic as her choleric voice rose with the flames.

Rounding one of the columns Taejin recognized the shaking heap of cloth as Yoon-Hwa. She kicked her. Stomping on her legs until Yoon Hwa cried out in hoarse pain. Eun-Bi reached down and grabbed the sobbing girls hair. Pulling her by her scalp before slamming it into the stone floors.

"You useless,"  _crack_  "piece of,"  _crack_  "shit."  _crack_.She threw her down onto the floor and kicked her once more, "I should have left you to the hands of those men. Let them rape you like the whore you are. You are nothing. Just a piece of meat that no one would ever want. You can't even please a man properly anymore you tongueless pie-"

"Don't you dare say another word." Taejin stood twenty feet from them. Yoon-Hwa's doe eyes opened in hopeful, dreadful fear as she saw him. Anger shook from him.

"There is  _no_  human being in this room except  _you_  who is nothing.  _You_  have no soul.  _You_  have no heart.  _You_  have no right mind.  _You_  are nothing. Eun-Bi, you are not worth more than the  _shit_ on half of those men's boots."

Eun-Bi's once pretty face twisted like a snake's. Her lips pulled back in apoplectic offense. She rushed him, arm raised to strike once more with her gold tipped talons. Taejin braced. He braced for the heated burn as they dug across his face or body. For the warmth as blood would come to stain its place on his finest wear. For the scarring that would distort his features. For the chance that Chi-Hwan would not pay him any attention after his ruining. Yet none of this happened. The bold, muscled arm of Chi-Hwan held Eun-Bi fast. Both of them shaking in unreleased momentum. He threw her back, her body hitting the ground in a clump.

Chi-Hwan's voice did not rise. It was not sharp. Yet still. Dark. Deep.

"Leave." A cold chill quieted even the roaring braisers, "Stay in the palace if you must, but I do not want to see you at all if only for public events. You are only a pawn to me Eun-Bi. A piece used  _only_  for political status.  _You. Mean. Nothing. To me_."

With that, he turned his back on her.

The sound that erupted from Eun-Bi's breast was nothing less than a death howl. It shook Taejin to the core, yet left Chi-Hwan unaffected.

His soul was still, and content.


End file.
